bad dream :/

morning earthlings, well i've a real bad dream. which i dont feel like saying it out anymore, i find myself in tears when i woke up. you was never here t hear me out, i only can turn t other people who is always here t listen t my problems. sometimes i dont know how t share them with you, you're not at fault seriously, i blame myself for not being able t share them with you.maybe god is testing my love, maybe god is trying t tell me something. such sign means your worried about whatever th dream is about, when you're over worried you'll keep thinking that it will happen. maybe i dont feel your love, maybe there's lack of trust. i dont feel secure as i want it t be, hmm losing trust can very fast but when you're gaining trust, it take a longer time. Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.i dont want t think so much, i really dont want. i dont want t be so damn sensitive, but i cant helped it. im me, that's nothing i can do t change that. blame myself for being not strong, blame myself for th lack of trust. yes, im tired of all these weird dreams. i guess god is really trying t tell me something. i realize im not strong anymore, im like so damn weak right now. it isnt th old me, i used t be strong. and its love which make me so damn weak now, i wanna be strong like i used t be. i wanna smile like how i used t, i dont wanna fake a smile. im really tired of fake smiles, i dont know how many times must i say this. JUST GIVE ME A BREAK! ohyes, i would like t thank my sonny for being my listening ears.

dont ask me if im okay because all ill say is "Im fine".even when my world is spinning upside down and im on th verge of breaking down. even when my heart's in a million pieces and my tears are just a lump in my throat, even when th memories come rushing back and a sudden sadness comes over me. all ill say is "im fine".